9 of Wands, first night painting.

I didn’t have a great time painting tonight.  Every time I tried to blend colors they were lifting instead leaving bleached out spots, and all the colors that were looking so beautiful on the palette, and were so well thought out, looked terrible on the painting.  Why?  I seem to remember strangeness happening with the colors in the ACe of Wands.  I remember that I kept adding green to my red to calm it down and it kept getting redder which I thought was against the laws of color mixing physics.   I didn’t scan it because it just wasn’t looking very good.    Every painting is such an experiment!  I hope I can pull this one together.    I can always resort to the big wipe out but that never bodes well.    Actually, I think I will do that tomorrow morning before the color sets too much.  Sigh.

Rex and Sophie start back to school tomorrow, always a little sad, I miss them so much, but its exciting seeing all the cool things they do – so. 

I had an interesting dream last night, btw.   

I was standing on a street and there was a man walking away from me.  He had on a long coat and a  black hat.  There was a pigeon flying around him and occasionally settling on his shoulder.  He seemed very cool, calm and collected and he ….what is the word, determinedly?  Confidently ?  Meticulously?….he walked slowly but with purpose and he seemed to be completely aware of everything going on around him, but without making any physical reaction to it at all.

As the pigeon flew around him it kept making noise, but rather than the sounds of a pigeon I heard the sounds of a raven come out of the small bird. 

 After watching for a moment I stepped out into the middle of the street, pointed squarely at the man and bird and proclaimed loudly “I know what you are!” 

The man turned and looked at me, it seemed with one eye sparkling, and the pigeon transformed into a giant black raven. 

It flew at me then, loudly and aggressively.  I stood my ground.  When it was almost to me I raised my hand toward it and opened my mouth and out came the shriek of a red tailed hawk.  The raven stumbled in the air, surprised and scared.  Then it flew back toward the man who himself turned and quickly began walking away.  I continued to shriek as they made their retreat down the long street.

Why a pigeon?  Was that supposed to be a dove which would seem more traditionally symbolic, but I know it can’t be a mistake, dreams are very smart.  A pigeon, to me, means city or civilization, living alongside men.  Safe, innocuous, does not rouse suspicion.  Its like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but its a raven in pigeon clothing, LOL! 

It seems very Magician and Odin ish, but why?    And ravens are never my enemy. 

Maybe the raven is me, trapped in the guise of  a pigeon, under the direction of Odin/Magician.  And I can only break free when I recognise myself for what I am. 

Then why the animosity between the raven and the hawk that was also me somehow?  And why did Odin walk away?  (and then I sucked at painting) 

I felt like the Magician was helping me in the last Wands painting and now, apparently he has left.  Perhaps I need to do it alone.   Ok.

You must love reading me talk to myself!  And so CIAO and goodnight:)

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