I think I figured out at least one aspect of the dream I wrote about yesterday. I woke up at 4am this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep so I came downstairs, laid on the couch, and thought about things. Something I noticed over in the office yesterday was that it smelled funny, like something had died and I hoped nothing had died inside the walls because I couldn’t find a reason for it in the room itself. After I started painting the fumes from the turp overrode the smell and I was thankful. I remember thinking, though, that it was odd that it smelled a little like orange.
Lately I have been putting my turpentine in empty baby food jars and I will keep several going for different colors. I usually mark them so I know what’s inside but ‘I’ve been getting lazy about it lately and I think I might have grabbed something that wasn’t turpentine. I used this other stuff a little bit, its non toxic but meant more for cleaning your brushes and I think you aren’t supposed to use more than a 25% mixture to thin your paint or it wont dry properly(there is a term for it but I can’t remember)….well, I think the stuff is derived from citrus. Argh! And of course the day before yesterday I had done an imprimatura layer with the same stuff. So, that’s probably why the color was lifting like it was. And, even though I didn’t consciously realize it was the wrong stuff, subconsciously I did and thus the dream. My turp wasn’t turp. Actually, the birds rather than dogs makes sense because the difference was probably noted because of smell which is air-borne. Maybe the Magician walked away because he had delivered his message and I had acknowledged that the message was received, though it took a little while for it to percolate up into the waking consciousness….that and a bout of insomnia.
I was wondering, I have that happen a lot lately, when I have something I really need to know I have those sleepless nights. I have also been having a lot of occurrences where after thinking of things which I think are really great and new, a jump in my understanding of something, I get super tired and need to take a nap, then I’m ok. Maybe I am going too far in the connection between conscious and subconscious and it is affecting my sleep mechanisms.
The Magician – he must be my inner master-artist. One of the things I saw last night as I couldn’t sleep was that if I took a whole deck of cards they represented my whole self, and each card, each aspect, had a job to do, and I saw them all moving about doing their thing. Remember the Hermit, all things begin and end with him. So, all things in a dream are you. All the cards in a tarot deck are you. All the people in your life are you. I mean that both literally, as an expansion beyond the *self* and I mean that in the way we perceive people, how we project onto them what we need to, to fulfill needs or tasks we have.
I haven’t had a chance yet but I will need to go over and wipe all the paint off the 9 of Wands. Not good at all. I hope it makes it, I would hate to have to redo the drawing, its so time consuming and its never the same the second time. But…I’ll do it if I have to of course. Wouldn’t be the first time.