It’s a frakkin miracle!!!
That’s absolutely what I thought it would take to save this painting. Yesterday I sat down with it with the thought in mind that I was going to give it my very best shot at saving it but I was also going to be realistic and would not spend another day if things went south. It was a hideous mess, a monstrosity. There was so much color and muck and it was so bright and gaudy.
I recognised a few days ago that I felt pressure to one-up the 8 of Wands. How could I though? To me that painting was a real triumph where all things color came together just right. How do I better that? I realized, I couldn’t and I shouldn’t, this was an individual like any person, and deserved to reach its own potential. So, I looked at it and wondered what would be the best?
I started working, and after awhile I thought, hmm this doesn’t look too bad! And hours later it looked even better! There was a point where I looked at it and saw not it, but its potential and it was beautiful. It didn’t quite rise to that, it IS a biscuit after all, but I think it captured the spirit of it.
I found it useful, in the context of the card, to realize that it took perseverance, confidence, vision and focus, of course, and most of all accepting it for what it was and accepting that it was a product of a long chain of decisions, good or bad is subjective – but they were the framework for what was to be. In all of that it was like life, to me, you can’t live a dissociated fantasy, or something based on outdated info, you have to see what you can do with what you have, based on everything that has gone before. For good or bad , perhaps, every moment has a beautiful and perfect potential. Though when realized it will be a biscuit- just like everything else!
I will try to do an informal write up on it today and post it later.
(If you are reading this blog for the first time and have no idea what I am talking about with the term ‘biscuit’, this is what it is: I had an idea a long time ago that every painting begins like the vision of a beautiful, ornate and perfect wedding cake. You toil and work and follow the recipe and use all of your long earned cake making skills and then in the end you open the oven door and instead of the beautiful wedding cake you find a little flat biscuit. That describes the painting process for me, I start with great expectations and in the end it must be tempered by the laws of physical existence.)