A. Crowley Dream

I had a dream with Aleister Crowley in it last night.  As far as I recall it was a first.

In it I was walking through an old house with lots of different rooms and hallways.  There were all kids of people in various stages of undress doing all kinds of strange things.  People were convulsing,  smearing mud all over themselves, chanting, talking gibberish, it was like a scene from an insane asylum in an old movie.  Having been in real ‘asylums’ though, it didn’t have a lot of resemblance to that reality. 

Then, Crowley took me outside into a large grassy field.  It was cool and foggy out, grey skies, and the grass was meticulously cared for, perfectly green, cut and thick.  Crowley, who was old, round, bald, and wearing a hat and heavy coat, then produced a long black sword.  He silently made me understand that I was to plunge it deep into the earth in the center of this green field.

I said aloud “Oh no way man, that’s just too crazy!”  And I took off running.  Crowley chased me all over the place.

Pretty funny huh?  I have no idea what it means.  I suppose I will be decoding this for days to come.

The next part of the dream, or perhaps it was a completely different dream just in the same night, had me on a porch of a beautiful old house.  It was several stories tall, sky blue, with a porch that went across the whole front facade.  The porch was all white washed wood and ornate and old fashioned with lit lamps at regular intervals  I particularly remember the ceiling which had nice thin planks also white. 

The porch was also several stories above the ground with one long stairway connecting it to the front yard.  I stood on the porch bent over the rail with my head hanging out over the edge. I watched both up, down, and to the side as it rained gently. 

A delivery man came and I began telling him my plans on publishing the deck so far.  I told him that I could not omit the titles or the borders.  The titles deserved as much care as the images and a number alone would not work.  To omit the border would be to worship at the altar of the image at the detriment of the whole.  I wanted to make a thin white border with little gold stars, then with a space at the bottom for a hand scribed card title.  I did not mention the card back.

Then, I told him it would require a book that covered the basics for people both new to tarot and new to the system I have recorded.  The text would be simple and informative.  All of the complicated stuff would come later in a larger, separate book that would likely be self published.

It seemed like I talked abut it longer but i can’t remember what I said.

I told Michael about this and he thought it was sad that I kept some poor delivery man waiting in the rain while I went on and on about something he probably didn’t care about, he just wanted to deliver a package.

I have two ideas about who the delivery man was.  1.  He is me.  The person talking was my subconscious which has been working on the problem of publishing.  Ok, isn’t it a little freaky that my subconscious would want to not only dictate images to me but also get involved in something like publishing?  Anyway, I am the person in charge of actually packaging up the product and delivering, like an analogy for channeling.  And I have been cut out of the process, standing there in the rain (all of the hardships happening right now) while my subconscious sits on a comfy dry porch.    2.  I was the one talking and the delivery man is an omen of something to come.  The reason I think this is possible is that I have been flooded with images of rabbits lately, dreams, even seeing them.  I think the rabbit is a symbol for an ace of Disks, wouldn’t that be like a package?     Perhaps it is both of these things.

Either way, in my waking life I have just been having the hardest time focusing on going forward with this.  I don’t know why.  I think its just a bit of shock and it is starting to wear off.  I need a good plan right now.

Meanwhile I have not been answering emails and have been neglecting a lot of things and I’m sorry!  I just need to catch my rhythm again.  I have been all over the place, spend a few minutes here and there doing different things then realizing its premature or not helpful in any way.

Today I plan on printing out the last of the completed cards, which I haven’t done yet, and finally having a true, complete deck to do readings with!  And I will see what it has to say!  Maybe I will post the reading here later!

By the way, all of that information from the dream above aren’t things I had planned or decided on, with the borders and the book, so I will be giving all of that some thought!

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6 Responses to A. Crowley Dream

  1. fyreflye says:

    The first part of the dream (or first dream) isn’t that hard to figure out. The “asylum” is your own mind, stuck in a crazy state after years of working on this project. Even though you’ve finished what was most important to you – the art work – your mind is still churning. Aleister Crowley, the father of what is arguably the greatest tarot deck ever created, leads you to a scene of beauty and peace – a place your mind would really like to be right now – and tells you to take the decisive step of plunging a sword into the ground. Wasn’t a Sword the card that finally completed your art work on this deck? Your refusal to take the step is your refusal to stop and take a rest from this grueling work but to plunge on into more planning, more stress and more craziness about what are only technical questions.
    I think the dream is telling you to get away from all that and take a vacation. We’re all anxious to see your deck completed and available, but I think you need to
    take a decisive break from it for your own sake. Where would you go to rest up if you had the money and the choice? Put aside all the junk roiling around in your mind and go there.


  2. Tarotsmyth says:

    Hi Fyreflye,
    Thank you! I think you nailed it. Sometimes you just need someone on the outside to see things clearly.
    A black sword is such a loaded symbol, I think it does sum up this whole thing and plunging it into the ground is grounding it, manifesting it, and letting it go, being done with it.
    I keep thinking, “but there’s still this, and that…” I see so many more things that need to be said and explored but I realized yesteday that they aren’t for me to do, I’ve done my part and its time to wrap it up.
    Thanks for the interpretation, it really helped clear things up!


  3. Earl says:

    Hey Marie,
    Hope all is well. Congrats on finishing the deck. I was just going over some Mary-El Tarot posts on Acclectic Tarot. It seems that more then a few people are asking for a new or alternate Hierophant card. I wonder if they are speaking of the Hierophant that came with the majors/aces or the Hierophant that you did change and will come with the full deck. The Hierophant that is up on your website now is a very very interesting take on this card and I look forward to going over it up close. Since the posts are newer I imagine that they are speaking of the newer version. I wonder why. Your revision is both challenging and stimulating to my mind. Any thoughts you’d care to share.

    • Tarotsmyth says:

      Hi Earl:)

      Well, I think most of the comments unhappy with the Hierophant card are coming from one person. It’s not the Hierophant that came with the majors only deck, its the current one you see on the website.
      I really appreciate input both positive and negative, it often surprises me but doesn’t bother me.In the end though I really have to go with what I think is right and I can’t expect everyone to be happy with everything, especially with the more controversial cards.
      I’m glad you like it though.


  4. Beth says:

    I completely relate to the feeling of stuckness you expressed. The subconscious has weird timelines and I think sometimes we feel stuck when we want to move forward even though it’s not yet time. It doesn’t help that all us greedy buyers are so impatient for the deck to be finished!

    A friend showed me your site just last night and I’m completely in love with the artwork. It is actually helping me get unstuck on some creative projects of my own, so I thank you for that.

    I hope you’re taking a good long rest to celebrate the completion of the deck.

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