Happy New Year!

Hope you are all having a wonderful New Year!

I tried to keep up with the readings,but gosh, my life is in such a crisis right now I couldn’t really twist them into something good, and at the same time didn’t want to bog you all down with my moody posts.  So….haven’t been posting.  Finally the biggest issue I had came to a head and is now over.  I also quit my job.  It is a total new year!   Time to start everything again.

There is lots of news on the deck.  At this time Schiffer is saying the deck will be released on February 28th.  You can preorder it on Amazon and also on Barnes and Noble!  I still haven’t gotten my information yet or even seen a final printed copy!  So I am waiting nervously! Eventually I will be offering the deck too, if you want a signed copy and hopefully I can have some sort of fun promotion.  They did tell me something was on the way about a week ago, and I have been staring down the creaky old mailbox out there, waiting for it to give up some treasure….but noch nichts!

 

Some details:  It will have black borders and a simple font, nothing fancy, just letting the art stand alone.  They will be 3″ X 5″ which should be big enough for border trimming if you are so inclined!  The backs are the simple Ouroboros design on black.  It will be a box set with book and cards… as far as I know there is not nor is there any plan for a deck and book being sold separately.

As soon as I get the information I am waiting for I will start planning some of the promotion, beginning, hopefully, with the Readers Studio 2012 in New York.  Are you going???

What to do with this blog?  I really can’t keep up the 3 card readings for the reasons mentioned above.  I could perhaps start adding my DMs for the cards daily.  I have what I’ve been calling my big LWB, its the DMs I had for each card which I printed out and stapled together.  Then I’ve been making notes on it as I go along, how these different cards tend to present themselves in a reading.  I was hoping to make it a downloadable when the deck comes out, a cheat sheet of sorts you can print out.

I will give that some thought and try to start something soon.  Is there anything you would like to see here?

I would say the imagery is different enough from other decks to have a learning curve, yet, when you see what’s going on it should all begin to make sense, it really isn’t random at all, it is symbolism that I believe is built into us all.  Not new, it is very very ancient and we are all experts on it.

Here are the cards I drew today, though I don’t think I have it in me to interpret them right now.

Justice.

7 of Disks.

Magician.

Auf Wiedersehen meine schöne Freunde!

 

 

 

11-26-2011

Whoa theres a nice combo!

Devil

Queen of Disks

Tower

Fuckin aye!

Wow just the look of those three together blows me away.  Don’t worry I don’t think they are as grim as they first appear, I will be at work today, busy, having fun.  I’m going in early even cause I have stuff to do.  The negative is that I won’t be home enjoying the long weekend with my babies.  But, that is part of the price I must pay right now to not only do this thing I want but to create the future I think Is best for everyone.  It’s part of the plan.

Now the Devil and the Tower both speak of great power and energy.  Force.  Power you can be bound by (Devil) or liberated by (Tower) aye?  Between them is the Queen of Disks, one who turns her tears into diamonds, one who creates a safe and secure environment where people and things can grow beautiful, strong, unconquerable.  This devil and tower are the pressure that creates diamonds.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

 

Mercury retrograde, I laugh in your face!  Then I hide in a cave until its over!

King of Cups

Chariot

Justice

Aye aye aye.  Well, I’m surprised I didn’t get the Judgment card, a phoenix always reminds me of thanksgiving where a bird is incinerated and rises from the ashes, lol!  Maybe that’s the point of Thanksgiving, eh?  The end of the year where we harvest the fruits of our labors and consume them, making them part of ourselves, being what we eat, eating our own labor.  I know people don’t like the extravagance that goes along with the holidays but I find the symbolism of it all spot on.  You want to eat all the abundance you can as a symbol of a successful year and to fortify your body in the same way with it.  Likewise on Christmas you have a deep desire to put away everything you need for winter, hoard all your riches, all your meat, all your fat, make sure your children will be fed until spring.  Also, you want to make a symbolic expression of richness that the coming year can sympathize with.  I’m ok with all of that.  Yes commercialism sucks, but it is just taking advantage of our natural inclinations which are good and honorable.

Anyway, internally I got the King of Cups.  My heart is exploding! But at least this shows a sense of mastery over it.  I had a dream last night, well, I don’t think its wise to say too much, but it explained a lot to me.  Yes, I am basically confused about the whole issue most of the time!

BTW, I have been working on a lwb, a little white book that isn’t really so little.  I have the whole book that will come out with the deck, of course, but this is more specific divinatory meanings in a list form.  I think it’s almost ready to be recorded and put out there in some way.  Website? printout? some sort of reading software? Don’t know yet.  Here?

From my lwb, the King of Cups is the master of the subconscious, knowing the self enough to not be a slave to it but to learn from it and derive power from it because it is infinitely wise.  Intoxication and good sleep.

I definitely got the good sleep last night, first time in a while!  Yes the rest is true as well.

In the same vein (what an awesome expression when you think about it!) The Chariot is to apply knowledge and take action, to exert your free will  and conscious intent in your life.

Well, physically I won’t be doing much of that today as it is a holiday and I will just be home.  But, strangely enough I am having thanksgiving with my ex, the kids of course, wouldn’t have it any other way, and my mother and sister in law (oh shit I just realized that I really need to go clean the house, ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Maybe that’t the action part hahahahahahaha!  Get off my king of cups, naval gazing ass and clean the freakin house!!!! omg that’s funny.

Maybe I should add to the lwb, stop mentally masturbating yourself and get to work!

Ok the last card is the Justice card.  Truth, order, justice, equilibrium, law.  Keep a light heart, see things the way they really are (including yourself) match the inside truth with the outside truth.  Mmmmm hmmmm, very good advice really.

I am worried, I am sad, but, I have to look around me and appreciate what is there, love what is there, be present in this moment.  And go clean the f-in house!  And make ambrosia!  And gird my loins for the day.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!!!!!!!

11-23-2011

Cards today:

The Tower

The 3 of Swords

The 9 of Wands

Ahhh yes that is more like it.  I knew they were lying yesterday with the lovers, 2 of cups, and 6 of cups lol.  (Actually they weren’t lying, I’m just feeling bitter so I wanted to say that.)

That reminds me of a dream I had last night.  I had 3 apartments (hmmm) and I was trying really hard to pack up and move my furniture out into the new place.  My ex wasn’t there at all, but my first ex was and he was acting like a jerk, getting drunk and making things impossible, tapping the glass windows with a hammer just hard enough to crack it but not enough to break out the glass.  Actually now that I think of it, I think both my exes were combined into one person.  I hadn’t paid rent in a long time and the landlord was really excited I was finally going.  I had a lot of furniture I really liked.  The toilets were clogged up and the bathtubs had weird swollen floating things in them.

So the Tower huh?  *internal*Ok, whatever, I don’t really care, come on then.

The 3 of Swords? *external*   Every time I get this card I have to make myself not read it negatively.  I think in general it is good but still my first thought is that its a broken heart.  Yes my heart feels very broken, but at the same time I think there is something up there in the ethers just waiting to come down (in the 4 of Swords).  Maybe just the tension of such a thing feels like a broken heart – painful and compelling, pulling, and with nowhere to go (yet) it hurts.

The 9 of Wands *advice from spirit*.  Now this is an interesting card, it kind of goes with the one I had last night, the 7 of Wands which told me things are the way they are supposed to be and part of me knows it.  This card is far more….active?  completing?  Coupled with the other two cards here, I could say that the Tiger is the Tower and the Flame is the Dove.  I will, today, or I should try, or no, I will, ride the lightning struck tower and hold the divine dove in my hand.  I don’t have to like it.  Liking it and feeling good have nothing to do with it.  Happiness has nothing to do wtih it.

11-12-11

I just added a new post here then deleted it.  It was wayyyyy too negative and you all don’t need to hear that!  So, I will keep trying!

I thought it would be nice to start posting the daily reading I do for myself so it can demonstrate how the cards work, the imagery etc. applied to a real person, myself being the guinea pig:)

Is there anything anyone would like to see about the deck?

Presently the whole thing is at the printers and the next thing I should see is proofs of some sort yay!!  And, we are still scheduled for a Spring 2012 release.  Also, I will be on Beyond Worlds tomorrow night at 7pm to talk about the deck.  Things are starting to move along.

Also, I have been apprenticing to do tattoos….but more on that another time.

So, my interpretation was nixed, but here are the cards I got today:

The Ace of Swords

The 8 of Disks

The 10 of Cups

Will try again tomorrow:)

Hope you all have a nice day!

Marie

P.S. look at the date, the hanged man squished between two lions.  That looks just like, in fact it IS the 8 of Disks which is a lamb between two lions!  Ha!

Stranger

A lot has happened since I posted here last.  I have been working on the book for the deck and finding that I have massive respect for professional writers!  It’s a battle against the self isn’t it? 

I had hoped things would be peaceful and quiet until it was finished…in the home stretch!  But, it wasn’t meant to be and did I really expect anything less?  Everything that was festering exploded into a big mass of puss and plague all over my life!  But!  People work through this kind of stuff all the time right?  Writers are awesome!  Me, not so much, but I’m trying!    I will get it done though, don’t worry.  It’s a struggle but it’s coming along nicely, if slowly (torturously).

One of the major things I have had to do is let go of my previous expectations…years worth of wedding cake ideas, and accept what it is, now.  What these cards and ideas mean, now.  Not 10 years ago.  How do they all work together.  What are they telling me now.  It’s very enlightening and in some ways sad as things I previously thought were totally awesome and couldn’t wait to talk about slip away, a sad ghost of the past.

Sounds like I am talking about my life too.

Michael and I are breaking up.  I say ‘are breaking up’ rather than ‘broke up’ because it seems to be more a *$%#&^#(^#(^#)&  process than a thing of the past.  It’s been since November but we are still living together mostly for financial reasons – neither of us can afford to move out.  Isn’t that pathetic?  I think so.  I have lost my appetite for it to tell you the truth.    In fact, we got in a big fight this morning and are going to have a ‘meeting’ when he gets back.  My *$^#^* fun life.

I know it’s a bit dramatic but I feel like Frodo carrying the ring into Mt. Doom.  I’m barely dragging myself at this point.  I feel in many ways like I am dead, still moving, and mostly working to keep things together for other people now.  What I want is a million miles away (will the eagles come and carry me there?).

You know the eagles are a symbol of Death.  It doesn’t matter if Frodo died or not, symbolically he did as that part of his life passed away, and the eagles came and carried his soul to the next chapter because that is what they do, psychopomps.  They are the messengers between heaven and earth.  (Notice when the eagle took Gandalf)  They couldn’t take him sooner because he wasn’t done.  Just like me, now, I am not done.  God knows I wish I were.  I drew the Hanged Man this morning, aye, that is right. 

Otherwise, I am coping not with alcohol or drugs but with the band Rammstein.  I even find it strange!  Not the music which I think is the epitome of awesomeness!!!! But that I am listening to it like I am pretty much 24 hours a day.  I’ve always coped with music and this situation is particularly intense.  I am also learning German, I started about the same time.  I think it all goes with my fascination with German/Norse mythology….I do have a daughter named Freya after all.  My mom was happy I was going back to my roots….When I called her the other day and started the conversation in German I think she felt nostalgic for her family and talked about her grandmother, my great grandmother who I remember had the softest hugs,  for a while. 

I tried not to listen to Rammstein this morning so I could concentrate but only made it about 20 minutes before the fighting and yelling began.  Now its full blast in my ears again and I am somewhat content.

So, how are you?  Anyone still there?

ETA: This came about when a friend told me that “Updating your website should be the whole of the law.”  which I thought was funnier than hell!!  And got me thinking.  Sadly the funny guy is no longer a friend because he started calling me names (wtf???). 

Also, I am sorry I have been really bad about returning emails and replying to comments for a long while now:(  There is no excuse.

More About Publishing

You are probably wondering why I changed my mind about self publishing.  

I was going ahead with that and then unexpectedly was contacted by Schiffer.  After talking to them it was clear to me that they were going to allow me creative freedom, they didn’t want to change or alter anything I didn’t want changed or altered.  That was my biggest fear about going with a major publisher – that it would become Mary-el light. 

I still had to think long and hard about it and I had to consider, who would be best able to bring this into the world?    I had to conclude that they were.   And, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to do a book with it at this time beyond a LWB  if I self published but with them I can!

So there you go! 

I’m still going to do some tweaking with the borders and titles a bit.  Otherwise I now have a deadline for writing the book, which I have already started. 

So far I have mostly pulled in all of my notes and documents I have done over the years and that was a job in itself.  Im trying to organize it and then I’ll start going through it.  I noticed from the start that some of this is so old it isn’t that relevent anymore.   It’s good to see how the images came together but my ideas about them are more mature now.   It’s funny to find some of these old notes that seemed insignifigant at the time but was really an important seed for the future structure.    By far the most written about are the Hierophant and the 5s followed by, strangely enough, the High Priestess. 

Oh yeah, and then I’ll have more time to paint vs. doing business.

Major Announcement

I am so pleased to announce that the Mary-el Tarot will be published by Schiffer Books!!!

Projected release date:  Fall 2011.

Woo hoo!

Finished Card Back

Here is the finished card back.  I hope the blue looks as nice on your screen. 

I figured out the violet dilemma.  I have been using crimson or magenta shades as my primary red lately and then mixing my own reds with crimson and yellow.  So if you take crimson and yellow which make red and then add blue, you get purple!  Red +blue = purple.  It never occurred to me that purple contained or could contain its contrasting color. Very interesting and intriguing to me.

So, next I mixed up pthalo green and crimson to make my ‘black’.   This time it made a perfect indigo!  And so about 4 layers on top of the first one of purple later, this is what you have.  I could have added a few more and got it darker but I liked it at this point – it seemed very harmonious. 

I am happy you can take two of these and rotate one 180 degrees and they will look almost the same.  Nice reversible back without having to digitally mirror an image.  It isn’t exact for sure.  I haven’t decided if I want to put a white border on it yet.

Card Backs

I’m presently taking a break from painting the card back because my fingers are frozen.  It’s 47 out but apparently that is still too cold to paint in.

Like I mentioned, it is 2 snakes, ouroboros, locked together.  The colors I decided on were the spectrum of thermal colors, the colors of heat.    And then for the background I wanted black.  I decided that I would mix my black by combining an equal amount of my 3 primaries rather than my usual which would be ultramarine blue with burnt umber, or mars or ivory black from the tube.   At first it looked like melting crayons.  Then it made the most beautiful shade of violet.  Violet! with a big dollop of yellow!    I decided to go with it.  I am convinced that several layers of this beautiful violet will make a rich black, so I can’t wait to get those other layers on there; it might take a few days.

Fingers thawed, time to resume play.